Sunday, January 3, 2016

She called me Cute

Every time for as long as I can remember my grandmother (Maw Maw) would see me and say "You look cute." I would walk into her house, she would smile and say "you look cute today." I would ask her opinion on an outfit or earring choice and her answer would again be, "You look Cute."

Cute is not a bad word, I wasn't offended when she used it. I just felt I was pretty, nice looking, smart, beautiful and "above" being called cute. Maybe I related cute to being small and as a youth I didn't appreciate my size. I don't remember when or how the conversation went but at some time in my youth I told Maw Maw I didn't like the word cute.

Always pleasing others, she started telling me I was pretty or looked nice. She would call me "cute" but then correct herself and say "I know you don't like that word but it just fits you." Years later she would call Cori cute and then look at me and smile. I felt like "cute" became our word and together it made us both smile.

I called a little girl cute the other day at work and that is when this memory hit me. Some days I only think of Maw Maw in passing or in a quiet moment in the car. So when these memories come at me, its hard to hold back the tears.

The last time I saw Maw Maw she met me and the family for dinner in Atlanta. It was a quick evening with dinner and 20 people all talking in a loud restaurant. We were only to see her for a short time as the rest of the weekend was full of wedding and family time with Nate's family. Maw Maw hugged me goodbye told me I was still cute to her but also a wonderful young woman and great mom and aunt. And she loved me.

I would give anything for her to be around to tell me "you look cute today"